My sister's long time partner (20 years +) called me Monday evening to tell me my sister is out of control. (This man has never called me for anything, we aren't close.) She's drinking to the point of damaging ALL. I know my sister drinks too much, in fact, I've drank with her way too many times to count. When I started this blog, I let my sister know so she could follow me, if she wanted. She's been supportive ALL the way with my decision to quit. This has made her think about her own issues with alcohol, but I now know, it's also pushed her to stop sharing with me her fears about her own drinking and many other problems she going through right now. Getting this phone call from her significant other was scary, as he shared he's at his wits end, and wants to walk away from it all. I can't, and won't, blame him for feeling this way, but it hurts to think my sister will be left alone in this state. I asked him if he was okay with me letting my sister know he called me to discuss this problem. He said, "that's why I called you."
I did call my sister, but she didn't answer. I texted her and she said she was busy and would call me soon, she hasn't as of this writing. For the moment, all I know is, I'm here to support her however I can~BUT, I cannot make her stop drinking. This I know for a fact.
So, I've sent her numerous texts, telling her I love her, she's not alone and "you can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." C.S. Lewis.
I need to stay strong for the both of us right now. I need to be the BIG sister and show her the way by my actions and examples. She deserves that and more.
Lia, That is a hard situation.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to realize we have no control over people we love.
Telling her you are there for her, and staying sober is the best way to show her love.
No one could make me stop drinking until I decided I wanted to/had to.
But once i did, having support made all the difference.
xo
Wendy
Thank you for being around to give me words of advice and support, it's how I'm coping with my own sober journey. I did finally speak with her yesterday. She went to an AA meeting, but missed the meeting as she got there when it was over. She tried to find another, etc., but she was overwhelmed and ended up meeting another lady who gave her input on how to find meetings, etc. I did go to a few AA meetings, but I could never really relate, so I can't help my sister navigate in this area. I am so thankful she's trying. She knows she needs to. All I can do, is be here for her and stay sober myself, as you wrote. xoxo-lp
DeleteIf she reads this I hope she knows there is a whole world here in this blogging universe happy to support her! It's a hard thing to tackle alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm encouraging her to get on the soberverse for inspiration and help. It's what is helping me tremendously. But I cannot make her, so all I can do is keep suggesting hoping she may do so. This is going to be very hard for her, as she isn't functioning right now. That was my worse fear when I drank every night. But as I wrote Wendy above, she plans to go to AA. AA is a good step. It may fit with what she needs to fight this battle.
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