It's Friday night, 5pm. Today was a very productive day. My daughter video called me from Germany and we had a great talk. She just got a cute little wiener dog, a female she named Stevie. I also had a great talk with my mom today as well. My husband came home in a great mood. All is well, except I want to drink tonight. Just a few glasses of wine. I just do. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I do. I know it's not good for me, and yet...it's hard tonight and I don't know why.
I know it's the addiction calling (the wine witch) and it's taking all I can do at the moment not to give in. I want to be better.
Update, 6:31pm, the cravings have subsided. I ate half of a thin crust pepperoni pizza. Also had one piece of caramel chocolate and will make a cup of hot chocolate in a bit. I'm going to take a hot shower and get in my pj's and read. I didn't realize how hungry I was, and my old behavior would be to drink on an empty stomach, so the alcohol could get in my blood stream faster. To hell with the calories right now! I didn't drink.
It is hard, so hard, for so many reasons. Try to just get through tonight. That's all. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteHD it is hard, and I feel like a wimp about it all. Thank you for sending your heartfelt thoughts my way; it was a life-line to see your comment. It helped so much. Again, thank you.
DeleteYou aren't a wimp, you are very strong, admirably so. I am in your rear view mirror but I will get there. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteLike all feelings this one will pass. But I know when you are in the middle of it it's so hard. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Stick with your sobriety, it is the best choice. X
ReplyDeleteToday is better, mornings are always better, given the fights I have with myself on some evenings. Thank you for supporting me onward PDTG!
DeleteCongratulations on working through the craving! It was smart to eat, too. I used to always put off eating till after at -least- the first drink so hunger was a huge trigger for me. You are abdolutely right not to worry about calories at this stage. You are doing g great; keep going! :)
ReplyDeleteHugs,
S
Thanks Sam! I keep going back to your earlier posts (and others as well) to gather strength to go on, I will keep going. I want to get to 70 days so bad. Then I'll worry about the other days then. xo, ll
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