34 Days

My fourth weekend without drinking.  I read a few blogs religiously on this subject of recovery.  It can take quite of a bit time doing so, but it's what is giving me strength to hold on.  Belle, whom I'm sure many of you know or heard of on the soberverse, sends me emails daily.  Sometimes I respond, most times I just read and absorb the message.  Today I responded to her question on relapse and if it helps to make one stronger to getting sober for REAL.

Day 34; I'm still fighting the urges, cravings and self-talk from my A.D. (alcohol demo) saying, "I can drink for today and start this sober path tomorrow." I've been here plenty of times, so I know giving up now will get me nowhere, but it took a few, hundred, times trying to be where I'm at now. So I'm on the fence about the whole relapse/recovery issue.  It sucks big time trying to get to the other side of the road, but I'm trusting the many who've done it, that it's worth it.  It takes time to get there, but sometimes accidents happen, and hopefully you get back up and cross the road.

Otherwise, you could end up being a hit and run, DOA and I don't want that to happen to me.  A bit dramatic I know, but you know what I mean.

Mummy was a Secret Drinker has a much better analogy to crossing the road, it's titled, The Obstacle Course.  Very good read; if only I was computer literate, I would post a link, but I'm not there yet.  :-(

As I wrote in a previous post, the longest stretch sober in the past 10+ years was 37 days.  Here's to day 38! I think for sure I'll get there.  Then I'll worry about the next two days to 40.  Teenie, weenie, baby steps...