I don't seem to have much patience with anything these days, especially not drinking. I have been told to hold strong, with time this "no drinking" will be easier to handle, but it's seems to be getting harder to stay the course. I thought it would get a little easier day, by day, but it's getting harder. I know I can't drink because I don't know how (nor do I think) to handle it. I always slip up and drink way too much and all the ugly feelings start. I don't want that, I don't.
I just wish I had patience to wait for the "desire" to go away. All I can do is believe, have faith, that it will be worth it somewhere down the road.
Day 48
what are you doing to support your sobriety?
ReplyDeleteDo you go to AA? Therapy? Other support?
I found around 2 months in I suddenly realized I needed support. That for this to really be successful I should consider all options.
Sobriety is full of beauty, joy and freedom. But you have to consciously look for it.
Wow are we all the same?
ReplyDeleteI too searched desperately for support at around 2 months. I found some of it with Smart Recovery online and here. AA just didn't have the location and hours for me to go with a family.
Lia - you will need at least 6 months under your belt before you are even close to really getting yourself back in any way.
Please don't give up, not it doens't get easier that quickly, it gets harder so you are on track. Patience isn't something I have either and from my experience addicts just don't have any of it - we lack self-control and this comes with time.
Do we want to be slave to this anymore? No - so we HAVE to do the work now. Moderation is a joke for me, I didn't even bother trying because I know where it will go and I couldn't stand the defeat if I gave up.
Michelle xxx
https://givingupdrugsandalcohol.blogspot.co.nz/2016/12/screaming-for-drink.html
ReplyDeleteI wrote this at almost a month :)
I read your earlier days and I can't believe how much I feel the way you wrote. And now you are in a whole different place. The miracle will happen for me too.
Deletehttps://givingupdrugsandalcohol.blogspot.co.nz/2016/12/about-how-long-does-this-last.html
ReplyDeleteand this one - I was so desperate!!
Thank you Anne and Michelle, for your insights and support. I've tried AA, but have not found a fit with the different groups. My mom and sister are my biggest supporters, talking to me almost daily, letting me cry, complain and just vent, etc. And this blog is my biggest tool. It's a day at a time right now.
ReplyDeleteLia, I hope you are feeling stronger today!
ReplyDeleteIt is still really early in your recovery.
I am glad you have your mom and sister.
Drinking will make nothing better. Keep telling yourself that!
Hugs!
xo
Wendy
I do just that Wendy, I'll repeat it as a mantra, "Drinking will make nothing better...Drinking will make nothing better..." Day 51
DeleteYay!! Day 51!!
ReplyDeletexo
Hi Lia
ReplyDeleteJust seeing how the hell are you? Sending big hugs
Michelle xx