Okay, I just have to type this real fast before I explode!
I'm sitting here, watching my husband drink away, okay, drinking a few beers, and it's just bugging the heck out of me. He knows it's still hard for me at times, but his comment, "just have a beer"!
I love him, but he's stupid at times, and this is one of them. He knows better, so this is infuriating to me! I wish it didn't bug me, but it does.
Thank God I ate dinner earlier and I am very full, because if I was on an empty stomach, I know it would be hard to pass up the beer.
How do others who have spouses/partners who drink cope? Because I'm not finding it any easier as time goes by...and I can't make my husband not drink, it isn't fair to him, but it isn't fair for me either.
ARRGGHHHH!!!
There, I just had to get this out.
Well done for holding out and turning to the keyboard instead - virtual cheer from me!
ReplyDeleteBec
I know some people who do have drinking spouses, and some do ok, and for others it's hard.
ReplyDeleteDoes you husband know how hard this is for you?
Can you tell him to please not offer you a beer?
Is there a way you two can compromise..say he doesn't drink every night at dinner?
You need to set some good boundaries for yourself and explain that to your hubs.
My hubs quit drinking to support me.
I hope some other bloggers will be able to help you out!
xo
Wendy
I sympathize greatly; my spouse still drinks too and it is quite hard. Wendy already asked the right questions about how to maybe change it up a little - I used to fall back on “I need to do this for my health” a lot in the early days which mostly helped. Sometimes I’d just have to get away for a while. It gets easier the longer you go - hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
S
Learning to voice your needs is vital here.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to tell him it bothers you, but do it when he is not drinking.
It is completely normal to have needs. Most women are so used to putting others first that we forget that.
Remember, he can’t read your mind. Be clear and honest. The alternative is resentment and anger. At aa they will tell you resentment is a dangerous thing for a drinker.
Anne