It's Saturday night, I'm drinking a few beers. Since Memorial weekend, I've been drinking here and there, with a couple times drinking way too much. I can't say why I give in to drinking, when I know it's bad for me. I know from all my readings, my brain is wired to want more, and more, when I do drink. I start off drinking, enjoying the subtle change to my mind set, but then, at times, I go too far. My story/experience is nothing new, it's the story of many.
Tonight is the last time I plan to drink. If the stars align, it will be the last time ever.
I've been here before, in the last two years, where I'm giving it my best shot to give up drinking for good. I haven't managed to quit since I started blogging two years ago, but I have managed to rein it in significantly. One of the positive outcome from blogging, sharing my story, reaching out to others, and being honest with myself, of my problem, is the change in my mind-set.
I have made progress with the way I used to drink. I haven't given up hope one day I will never drink, alcohol, again. And while I've not reached my goal, while I've beaten myself up about it, while I've struggled to stay strong, I've not given up trying.
As Marcus Aurelius said- "The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. The soul becomes dyed with color of its thoughts."
I keep thinking, I keep believing, I keep trying, I will never, ever drink again.
Remain positive Lia. You CAN do it. You’ve proved to yourself that you aren’t able to moderate. Some of us just are not wired up to be normal drinkers. The only path to real happiness is not drinking ever. I wish you every success xx
ReplyDeleteMrs. W! I picked a great day to begin anew, as it's your two year anniversary. I read the last few entries of your blog, and I don't want to be like your friends husband, I want to be like you and all the others who've managed to let drinking go, for good. Thank you for the positive message, but more, for your story, which helps me to move in the right direction. xo, ll
DeleteAlso explore other ways to find support. As Belle always said, if what you are doing isn’t working, add something, change something. Don’t be afraid to step out of comfort zone!
ReplyDeletexo
Wendy
Oh Wendy, it's so true, stepping "out-side my of comfort zone" to beat this addiction. I need to stop being afraid of the labeling I feel others with say about me. I need to worry about me, not others. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being here for me, always! xoxo, ll
Deletemeant to write, "others will say about..."
DeleteI'm right here cheering you on. I'm doing 100 days starting 15th July so right behind you. I really need it. Have you watched Jolene Parks TED talk? Grey Area Drinkers? It's so relatable she also has an online community.
ReplyDeleteOkay PDTG, me and Habit will be here when your ready. If you'd like support off blog, email me at dscrillo@yahoo.com. And yes, I did watch Jolene Parks Ted talk. It made so much sense, as a lot of other support things have. However, I've not found the "one" magic thing to get me to quit 100% for good. But I'm not giving up, that one day I will!
DeleteWe are both starting with you today. Wishing us all strength!
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