I'm doing well. I haven't drank, nor do I really want to, but...
Weekends are hardest to let go of the "fantasy of drinking for fun." I always drank on the weekends, but summer weekends where the best. Longer days, more time to go out and about, stop at favorite watering holes, hanging out with friends, the memories are good. But I have to remember, they are only, that, memories.
The last few years of drinking were not about drinking only on the weekends. I drank at home, with my husband, but I would drink more than him, always. It got to the point where I drank until I passed out. I never wanted to go out on weekend nights. I only wanted to get my fix of alcohol, sit in front of the T.V. and drink the night away. My husband didn't like this, but he couldn't do anything about it. It was the way it was, selfish of me I know.
Now, we do more activities outside the home on weekends. I don't mind staying out late, doing whatever we choose to do that day. It's a change for the better.
It's just a passing urge, to think I could go back to drinking a cold beer on a nice sunny day. It's not hard today, to say no to a beer. For that I am grateful.
I always enjoy the shift in thought when not drinking to where I realize I can happily plan early morning activities again!
ReplyDeleteAgree, it's Sunday morning and I got up at 6am, worked a little in the yard, clean-up around the house a bit, wrote in my journal and am now having coffee and some internet time before my hubby wakes. All this by 7:19am. Never would have happened if I drank the evening before. Day 10 of June. The days really do fly by, don't they?
DeleteIn one sense I find that not drinking slows down time a bit. I know it speeds up later but I cherish those first few weeks where I'm focused on every day. Although I can't believe I'm already on Day 10, too.
DeleteHow incredible! The ease with which you say no today. I love that. Saying no used to be this impossible task for me. Such a sucker for peer pressure. Sobriety gives me self confidence.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Mark. I wish it was easy every day, but it is easier more days than not, which is something I didn't think would come about. I, too, thought it was impossible to not drink ever again. I still struggle, I do, but I no longer think it's "impossible".
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