Congratulations to SamKD! She made 1000 days!!

I'm okay.  Still working on myself, which means, I'm still drinking.  I don't know when I'll get back on track, but it will come.  I tell myself this ALL the time. 

BUT...

My main reason for the post today is to say a huge CONGRATULATIONS to SamKD, her blog "S IS For...", posted yesterday 1000 days of sobriety!  She has posted almost every single day (she missed only a couple days at most), even if just to say it was a good day, period.  You are a SUPER STAR! 

Less is More....

I've not been able to stop drinking.  Last year I did so well, but so far, I'm still at it.  Nothing too horrible but drinking nevertheless.  A lot of personal issues going on with family members, but that's no excuse for drinking.  I'm falling down, and it's starting to get to me.  I'm lost in a way.  I know I need help, but....I will not give up!

2019 New Beginnings

Hello to whoever is reading this!  I'm still here, although quiet for far too long.  2018 was a pretty good year.  I did not reach my goal of being alcohol free 100% but I did make good progress with my drinking.  There's much to share on how 2018 netted out in regards to all my efforts to stay sober much of the time, but I'm not ready to delve into it all, maybe I won't ever be.  However, I'm not giving up "on giving up" alcohol.  This is a phrase I'm borrowing from PDTG's blog.

It's never to late, sometimes it's too long in coming, but until I'm dead, I always can try to be better with this alcohol problem of mine.  But please know, I'm moving forward, I'm really am.

To 2019, I'm excited to see where it goes!

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for being alive, well, and happy.

I'm haven't been alcohol free since my last post, but I've been back on track, drinking way less and not in excess.  Small steps, but steps in the right direction.

May all of you who celebrate the USA holiday, be well, content and at peace.

I am.

Signs

Well, I'm getting there, since my last post, I have drank some beer, not much.  As SamK wrote, just pick a day and start again.  I thought that day was Sunday, November 4th.  I wanted to be fresh for my 22nd wedding anniversary, on November 9th.  All my plans to "not" drink were in order, then my mother-in-law broke her other hip on Monday, November 5th.  As my husband is her only child, he's always running to help her in these situation.  In the last 8 years, she has broken her back, left wrist, right foot, right hip (which she broke in June of this year), stent and pace maker implant, and now her left hip brake.  She lives 2 1/2 hours from us, and it's hard to commute back and forth, but we do it.  The relationship with his mom is a tough one, a whole story in itself, but needless to say, it flows over to us.  However, this time, we were both in sync.  As she broke her hip before, we knew what to expect and how to handle.  So after a few days with her, we were on our way back home.  She lives in Palm Springs, and we were driving on the 10 freeway hoping to beat the work home traffic, when I saw a billboard with the message, "Sobriety is the Priority".  It was a sign from my higher power, God saying, don't let this situation be an excuse to wait to start again.

May the sings continue to show up!!

Struggling

I have not gotten back on track with NOT drinking.

I am struggling. 

I haven't given up wanting to be sober.  I've just been in denial thinking drinking here and there is fine.  It's not.  I have fallen back to old habits which are self-destructive. 

It's time to TRY again.  I did so well the first half of this year, and it was good.  I know it can be good again.

“Some of the most beautiful things we have in life comes from our mistakes.” 
― Surgeo Bell

Good, better than Bad, but not Great

Odd title for this blog post today, I know, but that's about how I feel at the moment.  It's about how I've felt since coming back from visiting my daughter in Germany.  A little melancholy, lonely, unfilled, blah.  I don't write often on the drama going on in my life here in this blog, because I wanted to keep the focus on my sober journey.  But life happens, with its ups and downs, and it contributes to my efforts of staying sober.  I'm not drinking to excess at all, but I have had a few beers here and there.  I did drink wine once, three glasses and I felt bad.  I didn't get drunk, nor do anything stupid or ugly, but as wine was (is) my worse enemy, I let myself down by drinking it.  Even my husband, who I've written about being less than enthusiastic about this journey I'm on, said I worked so hard to get away from the wine, that why do it now?  He thinks the beer drinking here and there is fine, because it doesn't affect me the same way a bottle of wine does, that's another story in itself, but he's right about the wine, why bother?  I realize I'm writing this because it could tip me to start drinking more and more, when what I want to do was stop.  There's a little more than 100 days left in the year.  I want to finish the year off with no drinking, then I'll worry about 2019. 

It's time to readjust my mind set and move forward once again!  Wish me luck.