Saturday, March 31, 2018

I Gave In...Heavy Heart Today

No sugar coating it, I got drunk last night.

I didn't want to write this today.
But I knew I should, because I don't want to play games in my head about it.
I couldn't fight the self-talk.
There's a story, but I'm not ready to share details.

I don't want to drink today.

I'm tremendously disappointed in myself.

And I'm sad I let those who have cheered me on, down.
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10 comments:

  1. SamKDMarch 31, 2018 at 7:54 PM

    We are all still here for you. Whatever metaphor you like - wagon, horse, little car - the only thing to do is get back on and try again. Consider the previous quit-time as practice for this next one. These experiences will help inform the new experiences.

    Big hugs,
    S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lia LeonApril 1, 2018 at 7:47 AM

      I am not giving up; I fell hard, but I will get back on that wagon, horse and little car. May this be the only time this year I got drunk. Thank you for the big hugs. I need them. xoxo, ll

      Delete
  2. Putting Down The GlassApril 1, 2018 at 12:44 AM

    We've all been there, you haven't let us down. It's a journey and I know better than anyone it can be a long one. The trick is to never give up on giving up. I'm with SmKD get back on the wagon and start again. I'm still cheering you on. x

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    Replies
    1. Lia LeonApril 1, 2018 at 7:49 AM

      Thank you for being out there, thank you for still cheering me on. I will make it, eventually. xoxo, ll

      Delete
  3. Mrs W's Wine HabitApril 1, 2018 at 5:04 AM

    Shit happens Lia. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again. You know you can do it! Xx

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    Replies
    1. Lia LeonApril 1, 2018 at 7:53 AM

      I've self-fla·grant·ly beat myself up for a moment there, but shit does happen. Dusted, up and starting again.
      Thanks Mrs W for saying "I can do it." Because I can. I will.
      xoxo, ll

      Delete
  4. UntipsyteacherApril 1, 2018 at 8:20 AM

    We've all been there.
    The thing that helped me the most was loving hands, not shaming.
    Big Hugs,
    Wendy

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    Replies
    1. Lia LeonApril 1, 2018 at 8:24 AM

      Thank you Wendy. I do need those loving hands more than ever now. I'm still moving forward. xoxo, ll

      Delete
  5. AinsobrietyApril 2, 2018 at 1:49 PM

    Big hug
    As you regain your sober momentum step back and ask yourself what more you need.
    Do you go to AA? Could you?
    Do you have your families support?
    What else might make this easier for you.

    Hugs. You can do this. It’s worth the hard work.
    Anne

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    Replies
    1. Lia LeonApril 6, 2018 at 10:01 AM

      Good advice, ALL of it! It is worth the hard work; I have to remember that next time I feel weak. Thank you Anne

      Delete

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