My 30 day challenge is almost over. Today is day 26; and while I've done pretty well with not having cravings or fighting myself about "not drinking", these past two days, I did. My personal and work lives are challenging at the moment, but not to where I'm really over-whelmed. Or am I? Whatever is going on right now, has affected my feelings about drinking. Then again, maybe seeing my husband come home, open his two cans of beer and pour it into a beer glass has me jealous? It didn't last week.
All I know is I want to drink. Not to get drunk. But if I drink, it's a chance I take, because I know I can (and have) drank too much even when the intent was not to.
My sober buddy has been there for me, and this has been crucial to keeping on the straight and narrow. It's day 31, well day 35 (a Friday, the start to Memorial weekend) I'm worrying about.
I'm disappointed in myself. I know many people have been at these crossroads. From reading, I know the ones who kept the strength to not drink, have shared how wonderful, great, fantastic, etc. it is to be sober 100%. I believe them.
I'm fighting myself and for what?
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will feel different.
Today, I know I will not drink.
That is a good thing.
You are doing great and those feelings are expected. We will figure this out!!
ReplyDeleteRemember, it took many of us, me included, some years to figure it all out!
ReplyDeleteHad I been blogging the very first time I got sober, it would have been about 7 years of on again, off again.
xo
Wendy
Really? This makes me feel better, as I look to you as someone who really is remarkable. I've written it before, I want to be like you in terms of how you've moved on from this burden. One day it will happen. Thank you Wendy!
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