Ten days down. The days are adding up fast!
Last night I woke at 1:30 a.m., and all I kept thinking was "why"? Why do I want to drink? At first, I kept telling myself because it brings pleasure, which is true to a degree, the first two glasses, yes. Of course, the problem begins when it becomes 3, 4, 5 glasses, etc. But why do I keep swaying to "why"? I know my brain chemistry is all messed up from drinking heavy for years, and I have to have faith, with time, my brain will adjust. And from all I've read and heard, this is a truth. But I'm stuck on the "why".
The "why" matters, I know. But, I won't worry about "why". I only need to focus on the "how" for now. With more sober time, I think I'll get closer to the "why" and maybe this will open even more enlightenment for me, maybe. If it doesn't, well, that's not the end of the world, is it?
Here's to day 11!
I think why is a question for later.
ReplyDeleteThat’s why step one is surrendering. No reasons or excuses required. Just a realization that things are not working as they are and a recognition that the first thing that must stop is 5e drinking.
Once you feel clearer then the rest of the steps actually help understand a lot of the why. Why do I behave as I do? What are my stress pints, etc.
A therapist can be really helpful too.
But, for now, you just don’t drink. No matter what. That’s kept things nice and simple for me, anyway.
Anne
Thank you Anne for your insight, I value your opinion immensely. As you wrote, "for now, ....don't drink."
DeleteFor now, that's my main goal.
What Anne said!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Wendy
I think what Anne said is so true, it doesnt matter why. However I think it has a lot to do with the lower brain. The part where habits are formed. Do not let it trick you. X
ReplyDelete